I have the tendancy to get anxious... even about things that I trust. Every day little things get to me, whether it be money, what my daughter is doing, little signs of problems with health or work. And sometimes it's bigger things like, "What am I doing with my life?" and questions of that sort.
So, when I found out that my husband would be away for two weeks, my immediate attitude was that of slight panic. We haven't been away from each other for that long since we first became an official couple almost 4 years ago!
The moment I realized how much we've been together while together, I couldn't help but think that, even though we will certainly miss each other, this isn't a bad thing. I think that allowing some breath into a relationship is necessary and healthy, especially in situations like this where the reason has nothing to do with the two people, it's a work trip and it doesnt make sense for us to join him.
I felt really proud of myself last night and this morning because in the past I would get intense anxiety when saying goodbye and I would begin going through everything that could possibly go wrong. But this time I didn't go there.
Yes, two weeks being the only parent with our daughter will take a toll on me energetically, but that's not really a problem. She will just have a more low-key time while he's gone since I'm a bit more of a homebody and bringing her around this city isn't the easiest thing, at all.
I also feel like this will be a good process for her and I, since she's learning so much... I really want her to get more used to being with me while I practice dance. She often tries to stop me and I would love it if she would watch or take part. Mostly, I really dont want to have to put a tv show or movie on for her whenever I want to dance.
I hope that the next two weeks will be a growing time for us that way. Not just a level of independence on her part, because I don't like the idea of forcing that... more a level of respect and appreciation for my art and what makes me happy (aside from parenting her!).
So tomorrow we will do some stretching together and then practice.